14 May To Be Continued: Guiding the Next Generation Without Being a Turd
To Be Continued: Guiding the Next Generation Without Being a Turd
By Jeremy “Ferg” Ferguson, LMFT-S
There is this odd feeling that occurs when you get to the end of a good story. It’s a conflicted feeling, I think. You just spent hours of your time getting to know the characters, and in really good stories you almost feel like you are part of their family. You become so invested in the outcome and in their wellbeing that you just want to keep journeying forth in the story, no matter the medium. I remember participating in such a story where a character, a member of the group trying to save the world, gave his life to make a wrong, right. It was such a wonderful character arc. It brought a tear to my eye and made the story all the more impactful, and honestly, more enjoyable.
Then fast forward to the end of the story, the world had been saved…and it was time to end. Luckily, there are more tales to be told about these characters and this world that I have learned to cherish. But I am stuck. There are these parts of me that are saddened by the fact that THIS story is now over. Then there are other parts of me that are very excited for the NEXT story. And then again, I have other parts that are afraid that the next story will not be NEAR as good as the last. And finally, I have parts that are pining for the SAME experience of that first story.
Conflict.
Enter the month of May.
The experience above is something I think that many of us experience in May, especially those of us who are finishing the school year. Even more so for those who are graduating. All of what we experienced over the last nine months has coalesced into this month. Finals, graduation ceremonies, class parties, move outs, and all of the summer planning. There is a lot to hold mentally and emotionally. As we see a new set of adults launch into the world, it is important to remember that fact.
This is not to make the up-and-coming generation to seem mentally or emotionally fragile. No, I am saying that they are in a transition period in their character arc. And us seasoned adults need to remember this and make a point to encourage and inspire.
I have been coming across several articles and videos talking about younger generations having “brain rot.” | can understand this critique. It is seemingly geared towards how addicted
society is to social media and our phone screens and that this is massively affecting the up coming generation groups. “What does skibidi even mean?” | agree that this is a problem.
However, the tone and tenor of these criticisms come from a place of disgust…like us from older generations are better than them. How unloving! If you could go back in time and talk to your past self, you would remember people saying variants of the phrase,
“kids these days…”
And you would roll your eyes! You then, in turn, would completely disregard everything…
EVERYTHING…that person would say in the future. “You don’t really care about
Just stop. If you want to be able to influence their character arc, if you want to be able to speak into their lives,
then stop dismissing them because they participate in silly trends from TikTok. The passive aggressive comments
about their slang or the weird things they find entertaining are disconnecting agents. I know that these “brain rot”
trends can be funny to throw around from time to time as a goof-tease, but when it comes out of a place of
frustration and disgust, you lose the battle of their hearts. And lets be honest…these will-be-adults already have all
the put-downs they can handle on the cyber-nets. Stop adding to it.
AND THESE HEARTS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!
Please listen to this, parents. These young ones will have many stories to tell in the future…those stories will
be BEST if you, the parent, are still in them, giving guidance, support, and the good ‘ol Papa or Mama hug so many
of us so desperately wished we could have had during the trials of our launching days. Many of these young adults
will be the one’s sacrificing their own lives, whether literally or through their time, treasure, and talents. They will
give their blood, sweat, and tears for the greater good; for the greater overarching story where goodness triumphs
over evil. And when their character arc comes to a close, your investment will have an even greater impact than
you realize.
So what I am basically saying is that your parent arc is shifting too. You are moving into the Sage role. In this
role you have the ability to have the most influence you will ever have over your children. We all need a Mr. Miyagi,
an Obi-Wan Kenobi, or a Galadriel to encourage us, give us respite, and point us in the right direction. Your
confident affirmation of their abilities cannot be understated. Don’t squander your voice with put downs now when
in the future your voice will be all the more important in their story. Uplift your young ones whether launching or
returning to school. You can still bring correction. AND PLEASE DO! Tell them that they are on their phone too
much. Tell them that TikTok is not good for them and it’s a giant waste of their time and potential.
BUT MAKE SURE THEY KNOW YOU LOVE THEM.
That will make all the difference. When you know someone truly loves you, you don’t discount their voice. So
go wrap your arm around that child of yours, no matter the age, and tell them you love them…even if they think it’s
gross or cringe…at least they will know it.
You all have many more stories to tell and a whole character arc to finish.
Go live it well.
-Ferg
Jeremy, also known as “Ferg,” is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a master’s degree in Christian Counseling – Marriage and Family Therapy from Oral Roberts University. His skills as a family therapist are versatile and allow him to work with all ages of the family including children, adolescents, and their parents. Ferg works with his clients individually, as a family, or with couples.
Ferg is passionate about helping his clients grow and experience emotional healing and freedom through his relational personality and style of therapy. The safe environment he creates allows his clients to practice giving their feelings and needs a voice while they are simultaneously challenged with loving “pushback” to develop a deeper connection and create a more desired life experience.
Ferg is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and has seen how helpful this model can be to clients who have been impacted by past traumatic events that adversely affect their present lives. He is also a skilled couples’ therapist and is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which helps him lead couples through healing
attachment injuries and develop secure bonds. With his cheerful energy and
compassionate spirit, Ferg sojourns alongside his clients as they venture forth
in their quest to slay the dragons of their life.
Jeremy “Ferg” Ferguson, LMFT-S
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