15 Sep My Why: A Personal Reflection for Suicide Awareness Month by Laura Scott, LCSW
My Why: A Personal Reflection for Suicide Awareness Month
by Laura Scott, LCSW
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In 1992 I lost my mom to suicide. I was 13 years old and in 8th grade. It was the weekend of the Tulsa State Fair, and I was planning to go after school that day with my best friend. That didn’t happen and my life quickly turned upside down. I completed my 8th grade year and then had to move schools at the scariest time for a teenager – high school. I was still very much a child that needed her mother. Milestone moments and celebrations all came and went without her there. The hardest moment so far has been passing her in age, she was 41. I find myself wondering what she would look like now and what our relationship would be like? I know she would love my children and be so proud to be their Grandma. Even now, at 46, there are moments I wish I could call her. Moments when I look in the mirror and wonder what she would say about who I’ve become. I wonder if she would be proud of me and if she would see the parts of her in me that I have come to cherish. My mom’s absence created a quiet ache that has followed me throughout my life – a grief that lives within me and rises in unexpected moments.
But along with the pain – I carry her memory.
I remember her favorite drink, Pepsi, favorite brand of jeans, Guess, favorite ice cream from Braums, and her favorite band, The Bee Gees. The perfume she wore was called First and only available at Renberg’s back in the 90’s. One of my favorite things to do as a teen girl was raiding my mom’s closet! I have a cedar chest with several of her dresses and notes she wrote to me. These details, while all simple, feel sacred now.
Why I Became a Therapist
Looking back, I can see how this loss planted the seeds of the work I do now. I received my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in social work and have spent the majority of my career working in community mental health. I have volunteered on a suicide prevention board and participated in the Out of the Darkness walk to promote suicide awareness and reduce the stigma. Today, I specialize in trauma work using EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS). I help people access their own inner wisdom and heal the parts of them that are still carrying pain, shame, and fear. I sit with people in their darkest places because I know what it means to have someone sit with you – not to fix you, but to simply be with you. My work is a way of honoring the mother I lost and the person I have become because of that loss.
My mom’s life mattered. And so does her story.
Losing my mom at such a young age has shaped me in ways that I am still discovering. It has made me more attuned, more compassionate, more grounded in the belief that every life is worthy of care, dignity, and support. I miss my mom every day, and I wish she could see the person I’ve become. I would love to listen just one more time to The Bee Gees with her or take a trip to get ice cream. But, even in her absence, I carry her forward. Her legacy of beauty and strength lives in me – and the way I walk with others in their pain.
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If you’re in Tulsa or surrounding areas and need support for yourself or someone you love, these local and national services offer free, confidential help 24/7.
Immediate Crisis Help
COPES (Community Outreach Psychiatric Emergency Services)
Tulsa’s 24/7 mental health crisis hotline and mobile response team. A trained professional can respond in person in Tulsa County. Call: 918-744-4800 or call/text: 988
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
One simple number connects you to trained counselors anytime, day or night. Available anywhere in Oklahoma, including Tulsa. Call or text: 988
Local Support and Referrals
Mental Health Association Oklahoma (Tulsa)
A statewide community resource that offers referral services, assistance navigating mental health options and support for individuals, families, and providers. Phone: 918-585-1213
AFSP Oklahoma (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
State chapter providing prevention education, community outreach, and survivor support programs.
If you’re struggling, please know this: You are not alone. You matter. There is help and there is hope. For my mom and for those who couldn’t, I continue to show up. Legacies of love don’t end – they transform into how we live and how we serve others. In my work as a therapist, I carry my mom’s beauty and strength with me every day. I hope that every person who reads this, especially those living with loss or in pain, feels seen and known.
With Love,
Laura Scott, LCSW
Laura Scott, LCSW
Laura is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Oklahoma. Laura has over 20 years of experience working with adults and children struggling with various issues such as trauma, depression, anxiety, loss, impulse control, and self-esteem. Although Laura has experience working with all ages, her primary focus now is helping teens and adults in therapy. Laura values providing excellent care to her clients and has continually pursued the latest training in evidenced-based therapy practices throughout her career in mental health.
Laura has trained in several modalities throughout her career, and she has found that Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has been the most helpful to her clients who feel stuck or overwhelmed by past adverse experiences. She has pursued advanced training in EMDR and is currently working towards certification and continues to engage in consultation to provide the best EMDR treatment to her clients. Laura is a soft and nurturing therapist who can help her clients see their strengths and develop skills that benefit their lives. She provides understanding, support, and compassionate feedback, which helps her clients reach their goals.
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